By Debra LeClair Psy.D.
Keeping a New Year’s resolution can be an arduous undertaking, so much so that many people give up at the first sign of a setback. Failure can often be traced to how the resolution is worded. Vague statements such as“ I will be kinder to others,” those that are phrased negatively like, “No more staying up late,” or those that overload, as in, “ I’m going to get healthy by losing 20 pounds and giving up smoking,” drain energy from the best intentions before the calendar even hits the second week of January. In coaching and psychology, it’s the powerful question that best unlocks the momentum towards reaching an aspiration. For this year, how about asking yourself, “What is the one thing I most want to heal?” Record what comes to you in writing, so you can see it on the page. From there, let it speak its honesty to you, in full. Take a few days to do this if needed. The key is to get down into where your soul and heart join in recognizing your truth.
Once you have it, formulate your goal to be specific, remembering that positively worded statements gear the brain towards what to do and the path to follow. Ultimately, you should feel inspired by what you craft.
Examples:
A) What is the one thing I most want to heal?
1) Feeling stuck in a large body that I just want to disconnect from
2) Aspiration/Goal: Notice how my body reacts to my choosing to eat fruits and vegetables
B) What is the one thing I most want to heal?
1) Not feeling listened to by people that matter to me
2) Aspiration/Goal: Tell my best friend when I need her to put away her cell phone and make eye contact with me.
